Embrace Your Shakti

Heal with yourself, not against yourself. Now I know that sounds weird. How can one heal against themselves. We are taught that healing is something this picture perfect and is something that looks the same for everyone. The appeal around this version of healing is its visually easy to swallow. However what works for one person may not work for another person and that is totally valid and normal.  

As for  me, in the last 7 years it has been a struggle with food. Having a digestive disorder, that ultimately led me to having a surgery to get my colon removed. I worked with several dietitians, who lacked the understanding of how the digestive system of someone without a colon worked. Eat too much fiber and I would get cramps. Eat too little fiber, and I would run the risk of dehydration. This struggle was further fortified by the  necessity to lose weight for my next surgery. So I blindly clung onto every tip and trick that the dietitians had to offer. In doing so I created a cycle, one where I never really had a chance. 

I forced protein shakes down my throat and only stuck to one meal a day for a few months. Alas this barely made any impact on my weight but definitely did a number on my meal health. If a medical professional was giving me this advice, the problem couldn’t be the advice. The problem must be me. Boy, was I wrong. I would later learn as someone without a colon, this diet was actually quite problematic. Granted it was helping to create a calorie deficit, it was also working against my body. You see, the colon’s job is to absorb nutrients and liquids. Since I didn’t have a colon anymore, my small intestines had to step up to the task. The only way my small intestines could do that was if I had more soluble fiber that is easy to digest. This type of fiber allowed me to slow down my digestive track thus allowing me to absorb more of what I ate and drank. 

Once I figured this part out I started the journey of cooking more, trying to meal prep. It seemed like the best course of action. All the health influencers are doing it, so it must work. After my years of dietary issues, I would soon learn this may work for others, however this isn’t for me. It would take me time to accept this. For I wanted to reach the gold standard of health. To be fit, to have my surgery, to be less symptomatic, then maybe I could feel satisfied in my body. Like I said this wasn’t for me. Especially since my symptoms can change day to day. Though precut and frozen veggies were more convenient for me, I felt like I needed to be a “responsible” spender and get the freshest veggies. I felt like on days where I dealt with fatigue I should just be able to push through. On days where I was flaring, I chose to be racked with guilt, rather than asking for help with meal prep, for what kind of adult that makes me. 

It wouldn’t be until recently where I would realize that though I identify as a Foodie, that I have a rocky relationship with food. The biggest step in healing this relationship for myself was investing in an instant pot. Something I’ve been wanting for years but been putting off, because how could I ever spend that much money on a kitchen appliance when I can just use the stove. Like I said though the instant pot is an investment in myself to explore the culinary world even on days when I have less energy. When I go to the grocery store I get the precut, and/or frozen veggies, I get the pre-minced garlic. Because I know where my body is at this is what I need and that is ok. 

Some may argue that I may save more money by buying bulk, or by cutting things myself. That may be true, but it simply isn’t something that works for me. Some may argue that weight loss is all about mindset and commitment. There is truth in that, but there is so much more in weight loss. It is about what works for you, physically, mentally and spiritually. So when you think about healing I challenge you to ask yourself, are you healing with yourself or against yourself? Remember any long term and sustainable version of healing is only possible if it truly meets your needs.

As always remember to embrace your shakti,

Max Chaudhary