Embrace Your Shakti

To heal you don’t need to necessarily forgive, but you do have to be ready to let go. Many times we are made to feel that we must forgive someone to move forward in life. It was something that I believed for a long time. As I got older I started to struggle with this concept of forgiveness. Especially in situations where forgiveness is extremely difficult to do. In these situations, forcing yourself to give forgiveness in the name of healing you is more harmful than good for yourself. For not everyone deserves this gentle side, the caveat is that not everyone is worthy of your fierce side either. Some circumstances and some people don’t need your attention. At least not in a way where your focus is on them. Nor is every action forgivable, in those instances it is up to you to decide where to draw the line, rather than the whims of well meaning loved ones.

Although walking away may feel like one of the hardest things to do, it is a vital part of healing. Sometimes this phase may be temporary. Sometimes this step will be permanent. Again you get to decide when the door to your heart opens. And if you choose not to do that fine. Before making that decision, take the time to be alone with your emotions. And it doesn’t have to be all at once, you can take it piece by piece moment by moment. If you can only deal with it for 10 minutes and then you need to dissociate or distract yourself that is valid. If you need to sing a playlist of sad R&B songs to make your heart feel less heavy before you check in on yourself, DO IT. You need to take some time and start therapy. DO It! Life is hard enough as it is, so don’t pressure yourself to fit society’s unachievable standards of healing. Greif, loss and heartache are messy and complex.

So if you find yourself unable to forgive, let go. It may be instinctual to hold a grudge. But that grudge is only hurting you, not the one who wronged you. Find a way to transmute that grudge into grief, and from grief into healing. Seeing that person, or seeing something that brings those hurt to the surface is valid. But every time that happens, check on your emotions. What is your feeling? If it’s anger, take a deep breath and remind yourself the past is in the past and that this person has no power over you or your life. If it is sadness, recognize that emotion and accept that you miss them. Once you do that, remember these words. Some people are meant to be only part of a season of our lives, and we can miss them while moving on. 

As Always embrace your shakti,

Max Chaudhary